Reasonable adjustments!
There's a lot to think about with the word "reasonable". When it comes to reasonable adjustments (or reasonable instructions), most people I speak to genuinely want to do the right thing. The manager wants to support their employee. The employee wants to be able to do their job well. Everyone's intentions are good, so why isn't it easy then?
In my experience it's rarely because someone is being difficult. It's because the conversation that should sit at the heart of it never quite happens, or it happens in the wrong way.
So why is it so tricky?
Usually there's no real debate about whether an adjustment or instruction is needed. But the manager often has a lot going on in their head. They're thinking about what the policy says they can do, worrying about what happens if others ask for the same thing, and mindful that they've got the wider business to think about too. Meanwhile the employee can walk in already braced for a battle, just expecting it to be tough. So you end up with two people who probably want the same thing sitting on opposite sides of the table. At best they can't find a good way forward, and at worst they're in grievance territory! When it gets to this place it's hard to come back and actually be, erm, reasonable! Positions harden and all people want to do is defend what they've already said.
It's not the adjustment or the instruction - it's the "reasonable" part!
Separating the words can be so useful!!
Take "adjustments" first. Something needs to happen or change – everyone agrees on this.
Now take "reasonable". This is where the difficulty can lie. The employer firmly believes the adjustments that have been made or offered are reasonable. The employee quite often simply doesn't agree. But in reality the only person who will ever truly settle that "reasonable" debate is an employment judge, and no one wants to wait years for that judgement.
When considering reasonable adjustments or instructions, the conversation should be all about brainstorming, exploring options and creative thinking about what genuinely works for everyone. This way gives the best chance of finding a way forward.
Listen to understand, not to reply
Before any decision about what is or isn't reasonable, there has to be genuine listening. And I mean really listening, the kind where you're trying to understand the person in front of you, not the kind where you're already half-forming your response while they're still talking.
It sounds simple, but it's actually quite hard to do well, especially when you're a manager feeling the pressure to get it "right" and worrying about precedent, cost, or fairness to the rest of the team. But until you understand what someone is actually experiencing and what would genuinely help them, you can't have a meaningful conversation about what's reasonable. You're just guessing.
Active listening is what enables two people to see the situation as a shared problem to solve together. It helps the manager to consider "what's really going on here and how do we make this work" instead of "what can we reasonably say no to". I know which conversation I would rather be having, whoever's shoes I am wearing.
We can't just assume managers know how
This is something that usually gets overlooked. We ask managers to have these conversations that are sensitive and often generally just feel difficult. We just assume they know how but the reality is they don't, even if completely well meaning, this stuff can be tough!!
Having a difficult conversation well is a skill. It can be learned, practised and improved just like any other. Knowing how to stay curious and not jump to conclusions, how to listen without becoming defensive, how to hold a conversation where there are real feelings. When we give managers those skills, reasonable adjustments stop being something to fear and start being just another conversation they feel equipped to handle.
The takeaway
Reasonable adjustments and instructions are simply a good quality conversation. Managers can do this brilliantly if they've got the confidence and skills. As with everything, talking and more importantly, listening will always be the best way of finding the best solutions.
At Pragmatism, this is exactly the kind of thing we love helping with, whether that's equipping managers through our Managing Difficult Conversations training or supporting a conversation that's already become a little tricky through mediation.
